Fuck This Noise

The Fuck-It List is an absolutely genius idea. Instead of a stupid "bucket list" of crap you want to do before you kick the bucket (which is such an annoying name awkwardly taken from a stupid idiom) but haven't gotten around to doing yet, how about a list of stuff you aren't going to do, say, or tolerate? Yeah! Way more fun!

My Fuck-It List

I will not:

1. Skydive. That shit might be a rush, but risking death for an adrenaline surge is fucking stupid.

2. Let people spew racist speech in my home or in my e-mail. I used to tolerate it on my computer, and figured it wasn't too much trouble to delete it, but I'm done with that. If you send me hateful e-mail forwards (or anything praising Glenn Beck or Sarah Palin), or if your Facebook status is a series of screeds about how the Muslim president is going to steal all your guns, I'm done with you.

3. Eat escargot. I've done this before. Snails are fucking gross. The only thing good about escargot is that it's floating in a puddle of melted butter and garlic. You know what's not gross? Just melting some butter with garlic and eating it! Maybe with a crab cake or some toast points! Yum!

4. Enjoy reading Moby Dick, anything by Charles Dickens, or Jane Eyre.

5. Enjoy watching baseball. That crap is boring.

6. Jog.

7. Teach my kids that you have to believe in God to be a good person.

8. Quit drinking. I enjoy alcohol, and I'm not going to feel guilty about that.

9. Let my dentist make me feel guilty for not flossing.

Clouds Rolling In

Hurricane Earl is announcing his arrival--the sky was clear and blue this morning, but now the clouds are rolling in and it's starting to get breezy. It won't be here until late tonight, but he's definitely on his way.

We aren't evacuating; they aren't recommending evacuations for our town, and I think we'll be safe. I'm sure we'll be out of power and maybe water for a while, but I've got supplies. My main worry is the big, tall, gorgeous trees that surround our house; if they fall, they could hurt us. But hopefully we'll be just fine.

Bad Day

Sorry for the lack of postiness today. It's the anniversary of my mother's death. My husband is at work until some future date, setting up hurricane relief efforts. I spent most of the evening trying to convince my crying kids--and myself--that the hurricane isn't going to kill us tomorrow night.

All I really want to do is lie in bed with about six beers and look at pictures of my mom.

Thank You, Mr. Obama: From a Military Wife

"The American combat mission in Iraq has ended."


I am crying. I remember exactly where I was the night President Bush announced that we were going to war with Iraq. I was in a bar with a friend, staring in disbelief at one of the tv screens above the bar, watching Bush announce a new war, and I burst into tears and sobbed in the middle of the bar.


My husband was already in Afghanistan. It was six months after our wedding; he deployed two weeks after our wedding, six days after we got home from our honeymoon. I spent every single day terrified that I would never see him again. That I would become a war widow before I'd even had an anniversary. I knew the Iraq war meant that he would deploy again, and again, and again, and that he would be at risk even longer.


He came home safe to me twice, from two separate combat deployments. I was lucky. So many people haven't come home, or have come home forever changed by what happened to them over there. The end of this war means the beginning of new hope for military families. There is still another war, one that has gotten much more dangerous lately, and one that is incredibly important. But at least it's only one war.


One is enough. Thank you, Mr. President.

Help, Please

Please go to Learning to Hope, where Tashi has set up a Paypal account for her and her husband (the direct link is here). He has terminal brain cancer and cannot work, and she has to care for him full time. They could really use a hand, and I'm posting this to spread the word. I know money is tight for everyone these days--even if it's just five dollars, it will make a difference to them. Newspaper coverage of their story is here. Please help.

Hurricane Update

Hurricane Earl has become a Category 3 storm, and may be a Category 4 by tonight. I am in a corner, hyperventilating. My kids are watching tv while my husband prepares to leave. He's deploying tomorrow morning, and then I'll be on my own with the kids until the hurricane is over. I've made hotel reservations in Raleigh-Durham, North Carolina, in case we have to evacuate. We've got food and bottled water, and a generator. My husband is outside, reinforcing the hurricane straps that hold our not-yet-finished toolshed, which he has been building by hand for the past three months. It's almost done, and I'm afraid all his hundreds of hours of work are going to be demolished. Not to mention our home.


:breathing into a paper bag

I'm Afraid.

This post was meant to be funny, but now I'm really freaking out. Tropical Storm Earl has become Hurricane Earl, and my house is well within the estimated storm track. I've been obsessively checking the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration's website to see the updates. I keep thinking, "I just bought this house. We haven't even been here a year. I have school! I can't miss that! What will I tell my kids if we have to evacuate, or if our house is destroyed?"

Did I mention that my husband is an emergency manager? He gets all the storm updates instantly, so I get to hear all the bad news before most people, and if we do evacuate, he stays here and helps save lives. So I'm on my own to keep the kids safe and get everything we need, and ourselves, to safety.

I'm from California; we don't have hurricanes there. I'm scared.