What the hell, Tropical Storm Earl? Hurricane Danielle finally turned right and decided not to screw my life all up, so you gotta be jumping up outta nowhere and frontin' like you're gonna come knock my freaking house down? Whatever, jackass! You think you can scare me, just because I can't afford flood insurance? Ha! My carpet is ugly anyway! And so's your face! Stupid, weak-sauce, wannabe hurricane. Screw you and the warm front you rode in on.
And you, potential tropical cyclone formation? Whatever. Kiss my ass with your "vigorous tropical wave accompanied by a broad low pressure system." You know what I'm going do to your vigorous tropical waves, loser? Get a big-assed piece of fiberglass and SURF ON YOUR STUPID FACE! So there!
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